October 17, 2022

Burst Intestine Vegan Savory Halloween Bread

And believe me, this savory Halloween bread is delciious- it didn’t last an entire day in my kithcen. Messy, bloody, pulled from a human torso, it’s time to eat! Okay, I know I might get a little carried away at Halloween, but I promise we’re still talking vegan food. It’s our savory Halloween bread, shaped like a pile of intestines but really it’s just a yeasted dough filled with a tomato sauce and a vegan sausage and pepper filling. It’s the one time a year you can intentionally make your food look gross and get away with it as a food blogger, and you bet I’m going to be taking advantage of the opportunity. So dig in- it’s vegan offal, that isn’t actually awful. Guts that were never connected to butts. Innards that make great dinners.

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Spooky Eats

It’s that time of year again- the only time of year when we celebrate making food that looks gross and creepy but tastes good. And I love it. I am a huge fan of the strange and the spooky. I like weird art, true crime, and all of that strangeness. I’m normally a bit quieter about this part of my personality, but I recently wrote a true crime story for the first time, and am considering leaning into my own weirdness a little more. In the corner of some of my images here I added a piece of art that’s been on my walls for years. It’s a casting of a face, with two hands holding a cloth over the mouth and a zipper opening in the forehead. I got it at a thrift store with no explanation, which somehow makes it speak to me more.

I also really love getting to bring my weirdness into food. Last year I made a video of my Halloween Stuffed Peppers (link below), and really played up the goofy creepiness of Halloween. I used to work in a haunted house, it comes naturally to me. Without getting to overly psychological, I think one of the things I like about gross food and spookiness is the fact that no one is trying to make themselves look better through that. You can deliberately make things look as terrible as you want, and still be appreciated. You don’t need to try and be healthy, or doing the right thing. In the case of food, as long as it tastes good (and is vegan) we can celebrate it. And believe me, this savory Halloween bread is delicious- it didn’t last an entire day in my kitchen. And let’s not underappreciate shock value. I was also the kid that would wiggle my loose teeth in my mother’s face, knowing it grossed her out. Middle children, always looking for attention.

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How to Make Savory Halloween Bread

Now I hate to break the spooky illusion, but we’re basically making a strangely shaped calzone here. I tend to use pre-made pizza dough for projects like this- you can usually buy it in stores for a little over a dollar- but if you’re making your own plan ahead to give it time to properly rise. The filling is a combination of TVP (textured vegetable protein), bell peppers, and onions. It’s spiced to give you sausage and pepper vibes. If you have a vegan sausage or vegan “ground beef” around and would rather use that, they would be delicious too. The filling is sautéed together in a skillet, and then set aside. You will also need 3/4 of a cup of tomato sauce. Again, you can make your own, or just use your favorite jarred sauce. The arrabiata sauce from Trader Joe’s is a favorite of mine. In order to get your bread in the nice intestine shape we’re after, you’re going to need to roll the dough out quite long- aim for around 4 feet long and about 6 inches wide. If that seems long, keep in mind that the actual human intestines can be over 20 feet long so we’re actually cutting it short. Fill the dough with the sauce and filling, and pinch in the edges all the way down so you’re left with a 4 foot long filled tube. Neatly arrange the intestines in your baking dish so they look like a gruesome pile of human innards. Finally, we made a glaze of sorts with a little more of the tomato sauce as well as a bit of sugar and some water. Cover the raw intestines with the gloopy glaze, and into the oven to bake. Once baked, you can slice or tear into your spooky, stuffed creation.

Burst Intestine Vegan Savory Halloween Bread

Ingredients

1 pizza dough (16-20 oz, storebought or homemade)
1 cup TVP (textured vegetable protein)
2 tbsp. soy sauce
2 bell peppers
1 small onion
3 cloves garlic
¼ cup vegetable oil
1 tsp. red pepper flakes
1 tsp. fennel seeds
1 tsp. herbs de Provence
1.2 tsp. smoked paprika
¾ cup tomato sauce, homemade or store-bought divided
1 tbsp. brown sugar

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 400°F (200°C). Grease a 9x13” glass baking dish, and set aside.
Bring a kettle of water to a boil. Pour 1 cup of boiling water onto the TVP along with the soy sauce, stir, and set aside to rehydrate. Chop the onions and peppers into small squares, and mince your garlic.
Heat the vegetable oil in a medium-sized skillet. Add the fennel seeds and red pepper flakes, and cook for a minute. Add the onions, peppers, and garlic, and cook until the onions and peppers have softened. Add the herbs de Provence and smoked paprika, along with the rehydrated TVP. Cook for a minute or two to bring all the flavors together, and remove from the heat.
On a lightly floured counter, roll your pizza dough out so it’s very long- roughly 4 feet long by 6 inches wide. Spread ½ cup of tomato sauce down the length of the dough. Spread the pepper and TVP mixture long the length of the dough equally. Take the sides of the dough and stretch to reach each other, and pinch to close. Transfer to your glass baking dish, snaking and swirling the shape to mimic intestines. If there is some breakage, don’t stress. These are messy bloody intestines, after all.
Combine ¼ cup tomato sauce with 1 tbsp. brown sugar and about 2 tbsp. of water. Whisk together and pour over the dough. Transfer the dish to the oven, and cook for 35-45 minutes, until the dough is browned and fully cooked.

https://veryveganval.com/2022/10/17/burst-intestine-vegan-savory-halloween-bread/

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